Top Ten Pieces Of Advice For Lindsay Lohan

Yes it's true, once upon a time Lindsay Lohoan (or The LowHam as I prefer to refer to it as)  has been photographed previously showing off her knife fetish. Photos with friend Vanessa Joy Minnillo television host "True Beauty" Season 1, model, actress & former Miss Teen USA, playing with knives. Do they think it's dark, goth, and sexy? ... If it were anyone else... maybe.

No... No Cocaine, No Drug problems... Completely... Normal.

WARNING: If you see "The LowHam" do NOT use flash photography as it will charge! It is OKAY to feed the LowHam as it has probably ingested 12 pounds of crack cocaine. Do not make body contact with the LowHam as it is a host of a variety of nasty STD's and VD'S, as well as Pantie Crickets, Lice, Mites, and a light case of multiple personality. Above all else... STAY AWAY FROM THE LOWHAM!


Ten Pieces of Advice to The LowHam from Pocket Gay Guy:

1.Give it up LowHam, grab up a tissue and blow that cocaine out of your nose girlfriend!

2.Put the knives down or freaking cut something already! 

3. Don't go to court with "Fuk You" painted on your finger nails.

4. Always...ALWAYS wear a bra when in public...ALWAYS!

5. Tell the media if they give your parents one more drop of publicity you will never give them an interview again!

6. While the subject of your parents is open... dump them. They are money hungry, vicious, rare creatures called "stage parents." They are the cause of at least 35% of the reason you have so many screws loose. That and the alcohol.

7.... The Alcohol lose it too.

8. We the people are so happy you stopped singing. We weren't listening anyway.

9. Stay blonde. Ginger hasn't worked for you since The Parent Trap.

10. Lastly, pack your bags and get out of Hollywood! Get on the closest greyhound, and haul your ass to the nicest trailer park that will have you Sister! One with the shiny mailboxes at the entrance of the trailer park where you can pick up your disability checks due to your cocaine addiction that you never kicked.

Vanessa Minnillo

 Only Advice to Vanessa Minnillo from Pocket Gay Guy:
1. STAY AWAY FROM THE LOWHAM

The LowHam preparing to charge as someone has used flashed photography making it feel threatened.

LowHam... Minnillo QUIT playing with knives!!!

AXE Fallen Angels Commercial for AXE Excite (Full Version)

I love this commercial, my only complaint is that this isn't a high end Fashion ad.

Katie Holmes Drinks The CRAZY Kool Aid!

Once upon a time, I loved Katie Holmes Then she married her couch jumping, post partum depression-denying husband, gave birth to his spawn and successfully forced me to deny all fond Dawson's Creek marathon memories.. But Katie, Katie, Katie! This takes the cake.

Apparently Suri's mama was heard talking about trying for baby number two with Husband Tom Cruise.

Said the actress:

"Suri would love a brother or sister to play with. I think it would be good for her. It’s hard to say no to her."

Because nothing screams "make another baby" like "I can't handle my first one!"

This "my child wants a sibling, and I'm going to give in to him/her" approach rankles particularly because I hear it . . . constantly. Give her a sibling? Why should it be up to her? This isn't a Wii, or even the latest pair of shoes from the Gucci children collection. THIS IS ANOTHER LIFE. You don't have a return policy with this. Get her a dog... see how long it takes her until she's bored with it. What if the 2nd child you have asks for another sibling? You gonna keep popping them out like litters of puppies?

Our kids don't carry our babies. They don't breastfeed them. Or get up in the middle of the night with them, pay for their diapers and shoes and college. They don't bear the emotional burden of raising their siblings to adulthood. In short, they have nothing to do with the important issues upon which a decision to have a child are based.

Although Katie and Tom have a little less to deal with -- they don't really worry about the cost of college -- they're still the adults in this situation who will have to bear the brunt of raising their little girl's newest desired object. And if their eldest is so spoiled that her parents will make a person for her, good luck introducing baby number two without a nasty onset of sibling rivalry!

Cold Weather brings HOT Fashions

I absolutely love everything about winter and cold weather. It’s a chance to layer up and really accessorize, jackets, scarves, and gloves oh my! However, a Jacket can be more than just a jacket, and gloves more than gloves… you can make them a fashion statement.



KATE WALSH LOOKING FABULOUS






A look that’s really in right now are dress Blazers with jeans, and casual attire. Yes the look has crawled out of the 80s and found it’s way back into wardrobes. Women especially are wearing blazers more often, some are wearing them over sized (as to look like a Gentleman has given them the jacket off his back) Others are wearing mid-drifts, or tight fitting. I am really a big fan of the latter to, if you have to wear a “big” blazer to look like you have a man… then you probably don’t have a man. Kim Kardashian and Kate Walsh are two examples of how to appropriately wear this look as pictured.








KIM K. GETS AN A+ FOR ENSEMABLE





And an example of how NOT to do this comes from Rihanna and this other Pat looking thing who I didn’t catch a name on: (I think Chris Brown may have beaten the fashion out of Rihanna. Sue him girl!)

THAT SKIRT BELONGS IN THE CLOSET OF ONE BEATLEJUICE!

Who are you? Your outfit scares me so badly that I don't care to find out. You look like Sanjaya Malakar and you dress like one too.










WORST LOOK OF THE WEEK: A look that I am not a fan of. The yellow “Jacket” looks like a hefty bag with arm holes cut out, the shirt could have been adorable if worn with the appropriate accessories. This looks like something out of a Lady Ga Ga Nightmare!!! It's face should have been concealed to hide it's identity. 

As Far as gloves are concerned you can never go wrong with Black or White. Anything Neutral so you can accessorize with anything. Scarves you can have a little more fun with in the fact that it doesn’t necessarily have to match anything else you are wearing. I actually believe that if you are wearing dark or neutral colors in your outfit that a bright scarf will help it pop. I.E. Dark Dress, Dark Jacket, and a Green Scarf are OK! I also feel you should do the opposite when wearing bright colors that you should tone it down with a darker scarf. Again, Scarves you can have fun with so be as original as you want!